AM : Thursday – Day 322 – 46 weeks

46 weeks sober now and I have noticed a slight change in how I feel when someone says “let’s go out” or “can I pop over and see your cats” my neighbours love to see the cats or “it’s your birthday soon mum shall we go out for dinner”

Before I was sober I would have said OK that’s fine (slightly feeling anxious as I would have to start planning… Let’s go out – OK have a bottle at home and get the bus or walk to nearest pub.. Done. Can we come over and see cats – right grab a few bottles of wine on way home two on fridge and one out of sight so that the one in fridge looks like it’s going down slowly!! Shall we go out for a meal – tricky this one because have to get a taxi and have I got enough money for a taxi, prosecco at home then during and post dinner! Ching ching! All of this is very very exhausting and tiring… So fast forward to yesterday. Neighbours popped over for a chat and stroke of the cats and when Oh said to neighbours would you like a tea or coffee or soft drink, sorry we haven’t got anything stronger I realised that I hadn’t actually thought about wine!! Never even entered my brain! I nearly fainted when I realised I hadn’t thought about wine.

Just goes to show that when you read in books or hear other people say that cravings and thoughts of drinking go away they are actually right.

I still doubt myself always believing that I am different. Never thought I would be able to give up booze but not had a drink for 46 weeks! 6.months in I thought I’d never stop thinking about booze but I didn’t yesterday! Let’s hope this continues.