AM : Friday – week 59 – Seminyak, Bali

And all of a sudden I am at week 59…not day 59 but week 59! I still get the butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. I feel so lucky to be free from the shackles the wine witch had over me. Those days where I would say not today and still chant it all the while walking to the shop and buying wine! Hating myself for drinking it. Believing that I am too far gone to change. But here we are. Day 413.

Life hasn’t changed in so much as the actual day to day grind is the same. Work, eat, rest, worry, sleep repeat all the usual stuff still goes on but it’s how I feel about it all and how I handle it.

I feel calm and relaxed mentally so the daily grind is bearable/sometimes I like it.

I feel safe.. Safe that I don’t have this constant worry I will die in my sleep through heavy heart palpatations. Safe in my own arms.

My depression is minimal I love opening the door and stepping outside feeling air in my lungs especially in the afternoon on a Sunday when I would have normally been sloshed and propped on the sofa. Almost feel like a rebel going out on a sunday afternoon. You know it’s like sticking two fingers up to booze and saying sod you.. You bastard..

Yep so many lovely reasons not to drink.

I still won’t take this for granted though. I will always work at it and be grateful for being AF.