Today I turned 54 and I am 710 days alcohol free. Its amazing to think that I haven’t had a drink for that long. I don’t want one now. Theres absolutely nothing a glass of wine, pint of beer or double shot can do for me now that a cup of tea or fancy AF drink can’t do. It’s not what’s in the cup that can change your life its what’s in your heart and soul. I have days where I feel like nothings in my soul. Like this weekend. I am overtired, my nerves are overwrought and I feel like I can’t be arsed. But in a few days this will pass and be replaced with so much excitement I won’t know what to do with it. So what’s going to change. My Brian seems to have fast and slow periods. All of which I take in my stride. Wait for the low to pass, try and calm the highs and hope that the middle ground lasts longer than the other two.
All of the above would have been a zillion times worse had I still be drinking. Wine fuelled the sadness into absolute despair and the good times were blotted out with the excitement of more drinking. middle ground never got a look in.