1st Jan 2020 : Day 1000

DAY 1000 πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰
When I joined @soberschool I didn’t believe that I would be able to give up (me.. really!… don’t be silly) this happens to the people I read about in books,magazines, but not me)
The first few months were hard, the triggers were everywhere, cooking, stopping at the shop on the way home from work, happiness, sadness, boredom, birthdays, Easter, summer, Friday nights, every bloody day!
I swapped alcohol for soft drinks, sweets and new feelings!
Feelings I wasnt really sure I liked, oh it was great waking up without a hangover but in the early months it soon became the afternoon and then the evening and I felt agitated, aggrivated and annoyed that I couldn’t have a drink! Just one or two like normal people.
Mmmmm… what’s normal and what did I want normal to be? Really truth be told I wanted to drink a bottle of wine and not feel like shit or have a hangover or feel like I was being controlled/chained to my wine bottle.
So where do I go from there! I was at a crossroads there were two paths.. One where Moderation bloody Mary is skipping along with sod it sal shouting “come this way, were your friends, its great along here” or the other path, long and straight, with wise old why walking ahead looking back over his shoulder saying “its up to you this path is for believers and achievers.. Can you believe and join me? Do you want to join me?”
It didn’t look as exciting but it looked safe and I this is why I joined the course wasn’t it?
I was 7 months AF and the best thing was I finally let go of any doubts I had about living AF, it was AF for ever or never! So I went along with wise old why. He’s a sneaky one that one, because he never said that round the corner was something bloody amazing! I suppose you have to commit before you get it.
I have never felt so free/unchained/alive in my entire life.
After a long time the teeniest of cravings popped back but soon went and I never get them now.
I never want to feel how I did, it was terrible and I lost a lot through it. So my advice to anyone wondering or struggling as Kate says keep on keeping on.
I’m no slimmer, I’m older 55 in March. But I feel like I have a life now.

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